"Remember, if you're not speaking it, you're storing it, and that gets heavy."
For anyone who knows me, I’m all for Self Expression.
Not the foghorn amplified type. Just the good old honest dialogue type.
Nothing spared, open arms, open minds and hearts.
I believe (& also see in my clinical work) healthy Self Expression, with capitals for a good reason, is the antidote to emotional dysregulation and sometimes even psychological and physical disorders. (Research shows this clearly, don’t shoot the messenger 😎).
I need to emphasise however that Self Expression does not mean expecting a certain outcome, expecting a certain response, expecting ANYTHING at all in return from the act of speaking your truth as you see it.
NO.
It is simply voicing what is within your heart, your mind, your spirit (in a respectful way).
And then, letting the rest go ✨
It is speaking your mind with confidence, in an open and respectful manner.
Not shoving it down into emotional constipation. And not projectile vomiting it up creating a major mess in your environment and the people within it.
Self-Expression is an incredible stress relief. It has an enormous array of benefits that would take me another few pages to explain here. But, you get the picture. Summary is: it's good for you.
Side note: it's good for you, IF, done with realistic expectations, and in a measured manner, that is, by using Emotional Self-Regulation.
What is Emotional Self-Regulation? 💁♂️
Emotional Self-Regulation is the ability to manage one's emotional state and responses independently, within a socially tolerable and sufficiently flexible range, and to permit spontaneous reactions as well as the ability to delay spontaneous reactions as needed.
That's pretty important stuff. The ability to manage one's self and responses. It will ripple into every part of your life.
And if you don't receive the response you expect from another, if you don't receive the outcome you wished for - then, so be it. You've done your bit. You're only accountable for yourself.
Remember, everyone is entitled to respond to you in their OWN way with their own thinking style, informed by their own life experience. Again, as long as it is in a respectful manner.
Everyone has their own Life Lens 👀 This is simply, FACT! ✅
What Self Expression is NOT:
Healthy Self Expression is NOT about control, expecting to receive a specific outcome or response ❌
(Sorry. Keep dreaming and Life will eventually force you to wake up.)
Healthy Self Expression is NOT increasing the volume of your voice, reacting with volatility, intimidation or thrashing around like a 5 year old in an adult body if you don't get your way or have a difference of opinion, because you just 'need to get it off your chest' or you 'can't help yourself.' 😡🤬😈❌
That is an indication you require professional help with Emotional Self-Regulation, and potentially a host of other underlying issues.
What IS Healthy Self Expression? 🤷♀️
It is simply speaking your mind with confidence, in an open and respectful manner. Not shoving it down into emotional constipation. And not projectile vomiting it up creating a major mess in your environment and the people within it.
No extremes.
Remember also that, Self Expression opens the gate to Communication, which is a 2-way street.
(Not a one way freeway for one's own benefit to zig zag all over the place with no seatbelt and driving at 200kmh disregarding the law of cause and effect!)
POINT IS👇
Self Expression has a fine print!
The fine print is: Giving a voice to your mind and heart, invites Communication and also requires Emotional Self-Regulation.
Those are the terms and conditions!
Satisfy the T&Cs and reap the benefits.
With that said, perhaps start today, by having an honest heartfelt courageous conversation with someone. Perhaps it's a conversation that is long overdue.
Especially if you’ve been holding back.
Consider this your sign to take the plunge!
Marie-Chantal.
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