Why is ruminating or negative commentary in your mind such a habitual pastime?
Don't be offended. It's human reflexive nature. Until we learn otherwise through training, coaching, or psychotherapy that is.
I'll explain why.
𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓! The human brain has a negativity bias.
What this means is...
Even if you’re having the BEST DAY ON EARTH and 99 things are going well for you,
If ONE THING goes wrong... guess what you’ll do?
FOCUS ON THAT ONE THING
(And... brush off the 99 things that were fabulous )
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭?!? 𝐖𝐇𝐘𝐘𝐘𝐘𝐲𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬?!
Studies of brain activity have demonstrated that the brain responds more actively to negative images than positive or neutral images.
Great, huh?
Well, it was actually great back in the day when we had to run from tigers, or stake out and keep watch for predators while our family slept in the middle of nowhere in tents and caves and what not.
Our brain had a very important job, and that was to protect us. It needed to focus on that ONE THING. Anything that was remotely negative, threatening, or unfamiliar.
Our very physical survival was at stake!
Negativity Bias can become a disastrous habit
Nowadays, the story is quite different. And our brains don't know what to do in this new modern day storyline. It wants to be useful. It wants to protect. It behaves instinctively, on the lookout.
But what are we looking out for now?
What are we actually running from?
(Hint: it's likely running from visualised snapshots, memories of our past, or images of our future fears that will likely never happen).
What are we hiding behind the bushes from, staring into the night at?
(Hint: We are likely hiding in our homes safely snuggled, and staring into our smartphones, laptops, televisions). Not very threatening is it?
So what gives?
Understanding the nature of the brain will help you have compassion for yourself here.
Also, understanding the nature of human behaviour will assist too.
The reality is:
Humans like to win, but we hate losing more.
So we tend to pay more attention to negative outcomes and weigh them more heavily than positive ones.
This negativity laser beam of ours explains why we focus more on upsetting events, instead of positive events. And blow things way out of proportion, losing perspective.
The more we focus on negative events, the more we REACT to them, and the more we create a snowball effect of the negative emotions and behaviours that come with it.
(Cue Meltdown).
Ever wondered why the news is always so negative?
It’s the perfect marketing strategy!
Humans lovvvvveeee negativity more than positive stories.
If we don’t have a problem in our lives that we can make a field day out of, and milk for all it’s worth, we will actually begin creating problems in our minds we can focus on (hello Anxiety!).
Our brain is designed to focus on that ONE bad thing so imagine if we had HOURS of bad events streaming on our TVs, Social Media, or any device!
And then we wonder why anxiety and depression are on the rise! Of course it is.
𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐄 ‘𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐘’?
Yeah well, it literally does. Humans SEEK out negativity.
Sometimes I come across people who in the process of healing and positive change, have made HUGE success in rehabilitation,
But then...
They are so attached to being in a state of misery that they sabotage their progress because misery had become such a large part of their ‘identity.’
Being healthy, feeling good in their bodies, thinking differently in their minds, just didn’t feel comfortable or familiar enough.
Embodying Health freed up so much of their mental space and time, that they didn’t know who they were anymore or what to do with themselves!
So back into the comfort of the memorised past self they go. Fire up that brain and let’s find something to worry about again.
𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭.
Ever wonder what would happen if you removed yourself completely from all negativity? Including your own mind?
Ponder that: What would you do with all that time?
What you put into your mind, and heart has an IMPACT on your body and life outcomes.
Don’t allow your mind to have a negativity field day throwing toxic thoughts around.
Reign in the wild horse! (The wild horse being your brain. I have a habit of speaking in analogies). Put on the reigns and learn how to steer. Tame the wild horse. Teach it direction. With repetition it will learn the ropes. It will follow instruction with less effort too, over time.
And then, your outcomes will be far more pleasant, more positive, more in the direction of the true destination you wish to land in.
In wellness, and harnessing the power within!
Marie-Chantal.
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