"The definition of INSANITY is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results."
Yep. Albert Einstein got it right in that one sentence. Of course he did, look how brilliant he is.
So why is it that us humans love stewing over circumstances, brewing all of the WHY this or WHY that happened to us, WHY this is so unfair, WHY why WHY ingredients in a giant disastrous pot of victimisation? Instead of pondering…
What can I do about this situation that’s different to what I’ve done before?
HOW can I get a DIFFERENT RESULT with DIFFERENT ACTION instead of saying, doing and being the same over and over and over again?
Questions to consider:
Have I been looping in my mind? Thinking the same ways, each moment, each day, each month?
Have I been looping in my behaviour, doing the same things each day? Each week?
Have I been looping in my words, complaining about the same things every few hours, every week, for as long as I remember?
Here’s an analogy you can apply to anything in life:
Meet my made-up character Martha.
Martha despises her body, she feels depressed, hates waking up with an impending sense of doom, feels sluggish most of the time, in chronic pain, and has a long list of medical symptoms she jokes is similar to the size of Tolstoy’s War & Peace novel.
Martha talks about how totally rubbish she feels every single day. In fact, it’s all she can think about.
She texts her good friend Janet about it (or anyone who will listen), she talks to her husband about it, in fact, it’s a daily routine, pretty much how they greet each other each day ‘how are you feeling today honey?”
And then… wait for it..!
Everyone already knows what she will say. Because...It’s routine!
Martha’s body has become her prison.
Martha’s once-upon-a-time jovial spirit has been slowly taken over by her uncooperative body. Martha has BECOME what she once despised. A misery guts and a shell of herself.
So, upon first impression, people feel reallyyyy sorry for Martha. People reach out hoping she’s okay, asking how she is feeling today because they can see written on her face that she isn’t happy.
This makes Martha happy and heard for a couple of minutes, but then the cycle repeats with the doom and gloom.
What people DON’T KNOW however is this other side of Martha’s history:
Here it is ... (a major lesson in 'Personal Accountability')
Martha has struggled with her low self-worth her entire life. As a result, she has a habit of thinking and believing worst-case scenarios in her head before even trying anything new. She bows out before she begins with most things.
'Why try if I already know I'll fail' is her silent mantra.
Martha has been conditioned to think that she is powerless in changing her destiny, instead she relies on others and external circumstances to direct her life.
She also gets angry, frustrated and sad when life or other people don’t provide her with quick solutions to her problems.
She is used to behaving as an ‘extra’ in her own life story, not the lead actress, and definitely not the Author.
Martha has spent the past 20 years at a desk job she hates, because she believes ‘that’s just her lot in life.’ She witnessed her parents live out their ‘duties’ and believes she must also dutifully remain in the same role, there is no way out in her mind, not for her anyway.
Martha’s lived off a diet of easy fast food, packaged foods, sugar and caffeine for as long as she can remember. She never put thought into this area because her body seemed to be moving along fine…well, until the past couple of years that is.
Martha’s mobility has been restricted to walking from her bed, to her bathroom, to her kitchen, to the car, driving to the office, and rewind the same steps backwards all the way home at the end of the day.
Not because she is physically disabled, but because she chooses to do this. Martha has given her body this amount of movement for the majority of the past 20 years.
Martha’s down-time is spent talking about her frustrations, illness or recent problems with her husband, with her friend Janet, and also distracting herself by scrolling the internet, or watching Netflix.
And so on and so forth…
want to hear more about Martha’s life?
I didn’t think so. I’m guessing you’re feeling pretty flat after reading that.
BUT I’m curious…
Are you surprised Martha’s health is deteriorating before her very eyes?
What advice would you give her?
Do you believe her health should be improving regardless of the above?
Are there elements there that can be CHANGED immediately to improve her circumstances?
The way I see it is this:
Martha has created her very own prison and living hell.
Illness and life tragedies can be unexpected, YES! BUT (& this is a MASSIVE 'BUT'!!) there is also an element of personal accountability in the story above.
She really needs to change her thinking, to change her behaviour, to change her future outcomes.
Fun Fact: Life is NOT fair!
It never was, it never will be!
The sooner people realise this, the better off they will be. The sooner they can dust themselves off and get to where they want to go.
We all have the same two choices 👇
1. Being stuck in the mud vs
2. Ungluing yourself out of the cesspit and running at full speed into the horizon on a different path (even if you can’t see it yet.. it’s there.. you’ve just got to keep running forward with hope and determination to see it)
Martha’s issue is summarised as this:
she thinks the same things, says the same things to the same people, behaves the same way, in the same routine every day
Why does she believe things will change for her?
THEY DEFINITELY WON’T!
Simple logic. It’s not harsh, it’s REALITY.
Those who cannot face reality, are those who sink.
There, I've said it, Plain & Simple.
A major part of what I teach in Tinnitus Therapy is increasing SELF-AWARENESS, holding up the mirror so people can see their life’s current reflection and are then able to identify WHAT can be done DIFFERENTLY to create a different physical outcome.
Healing takes place through ACTION.
You don’t get to hit a goal without action. Sorry. That's another fun fact of life. I do love comfort zones just as much as the next guy/girl. But, tough luck, we cannot outrun physics, biology and facts of life! (No matter how much we wish it were different).
Food for thought: What different action have you taken recently to create a different outcome for yourself?
In the Spirit of Health and Taking Action, until next time!
Marie-Chantal.
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